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The Asylum

Welcome to the Asylum. This is a site devoted to politics and current events in America, and around the globe. The THREE lunatics posting here are unabashed conservatives that go after the liberal lies and deceit prevalent in the debate of the day. We'd like to add that the views expressed here do not reflect the views of other inmates, nor were any inmates harmed in the creation of this site.

Location: Mesa, Arizona, United States

Who are we? We're a married couple who has a passion for politics and current events. That's what this site is about. If you read us, you know what we stand for.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Somebody Get Me Jack Bauer! We Need To Plug A Leak!

Yes, we have a leak within the GOP, and by God it must be silenced now before our dirty little secrets get out! I need Jack Bauer, stat! Hugh has tipped us off to the leaker and his name is Doug Ross. This turncoat blogger has revealed our secret plan to keep the Democrats out of power. Does this man not know who he is messing with? Does he not realize that the power of the Sith can't be stopped. You can't stop a Sith Lord, you can only hope to kill him with a little green guy named Yoda!

We need Jack Bauer, his cool phone, and Chloe to silence Doug Ross. We don't want him killed; we just want him rung up on phony terror charges, and have him dispatched to Gitmo to face the military tribunals. No habeas corpus for this traitor. This is worse than the president calling down the power of God, and unleashing Katrina against the Gulf Coast. His treasonous activities--the direct undermining of the emperor himself--is even worse than the orchestrations of the boimb planters in the World Trade Center on Sept. 10th. Doug Ross needs to be stopped.

I know he's just doing this to send Keith Olbermann over the edge (as if he wasn't already over the cliff enough), but this is an important election year. How can the president invoke martial law, finish suspending that pesky Constitution, and launch the secret US military black-ops guys to conquer the world if we have those meddling Democrats in the way? We'd get away with it if it weren't for those fever swamped nuts. Don't they understand that America IS "the New Order" that all Sith desire. The next thing you know, he'll be blowing the real reason why scientists kicked Pluto out of the solar system. Everyone thought it was because we wanted to punish Howard Dean by excluding his homeworld from our little group, but in reality there is an entire Sith invasion force waiting to help the president conquer Earth over there. If Doug Ross lets out the invasion plans, all will be lost.

So he must be silenced, and only one man can do the job. We need Jack Bauer, and we need him now.

Sabrina McKinney

ADDENDUM: Thanks Hugh, Ineeded a good laugh today, and that hit the spot nicely!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, my Gosh! I opened an e-mail from Yoda! But I didn't download it!
I was asked if I knew this person. The word "person" confused me! I clicked yes! There it was-our most secret plan! I, of course, agreed with Yoda. And I must confess I made a list of the key races in the House and Senate. And, I predicted-I know better than to predict. I learned never to predict when I first noticed girls were different. Anyway, the great upset-ready for this? Murtha loses! Don't tell. It seems that pelosi left him. This was after her appearance in the SF pride parade. I have to go now-the FBI have some questions for me. LAN ASTASLEM! Rawriter

6:16 AM  

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